John's Movies > Movie reviews by John

Bad movie and I am not joking.

Posted : 1 year, 7 months ago on 5 April 2008 06:20 (A review of Meet the Spartans)

The whole jokes in this movie were retarded and were not funny. Believe me the trailer is great then the movie is just really bad they use all the good jokes at the start. The movie runs out of ideas quickly and just try and take the p*ss out of everything. The gay jokes are annoying which happen the whole way over the movie. Beware if your looking for something like Scary Movie your not getting it here. Paris Hilton, Britney Spears some woman plays the same part and yet the only decent one in the movie. Everyone else in the movie oh Method Man was decent the rest were just bad Carmen Eletra can't act for her life shes only in this as eye candy.

The movie with it been based on a plot of 300 can't really go anywhere which means they lose ideas fast. Then come in shows and other stuff to try and add comedy such as Shrek, Deal or no Deal, American Idol, that model show thing, Spider-Man, Ghost Rider, Rocky etc these jokes aren't funny it's just funny if your an idiot but it's true. The movie seems like a total rush job and the makers seem like they never really thought about it. The movie only lasts for 1 hour and 15 mins not long thank god but if you wish to see the movie SAVE YOUR MONEY. I got the feeling when the people were writing and coming up with ideas for this movie they were stoned because i have never seen a movie that was so much of a mess..

A lot of the jokes seem to repeat it's self during the process which just adds even more crap making the movie dull and pointless expecting you to laugh at this movie. The people in the cinema sounded like they were pretending to laugh. There is scenes like when the child gets kicked beaten up yeah kids may find it funny but an adult won't.

The movie cost me £5.20 to watch it was just stupid for a movie of 1 hour 15 mins to short it was.

Then what i find so fu*cking annoying that weird guy from youtube Chris Crocker with his sh*t video of leave me alone he gets put into the movie. trust me AVOID!!!!!

This movie should of been a straight to DVD release because it does not even deserve to even make it to the big Screen (Cinema)

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WWE finally have a great movie

Posted : 1 year, 8 months ago on 24 March 2008 11:50 (A review of The Condemned)

Finally this movie made it to the UK on DVD never even came to the cinema here at all which pi**ed me off sorry for my swearing. This movie was great the death scenes were awesome some were a little to sick.
Stone Cold is fantastic for the part and Vinnie Jones is an evil SOB check out the movie and watch tons of people die.
Entertaining great acting your getting it right here from this movie.

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This movie could of been good

Posted : 1 year, 8 months ago on 23 March 2008 01:28 (A review of The Heartbreak Kid)

The Heartbreak Kid i really did find boring the jokes weren't funny and the story was just plain bad. The trailer was great but i just bought it on DVD for £10 if you ask me i just wasted £10. The humor is pretty much the same as Ben Stiller's other movies so nothing different. This movie should of and could of been a whole lot better shame.

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Don't Bother

Posted : 1 year, 8 months ago on 22 March 2008 09:06 (A review of Nacho Libre)

I never found this funny at all i like wrestling but this was silly. The story plot has Jack Black fighting to be a wrestler for some orphans. The movie just bored me to death i like Jack Black he is funny but this movie is his worst i have seen.

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Terrible Movie

Posted : 1 year, 8 months ago on 15 March 2008 03:55 (A review of The New Guy)

The New Guy was boring it was not funny and kind of like that other boring movie not another teen movie i'm sorry but you must be stupid to even call this funny. Rating: 1/10

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Great Movie but cannot beat Hot Fuzz

Posted : 1 year, 9 months ago on 2 March 2008 02:39 (A review of Shaun of the Dead)

Shaun of the Dead was a funny movie but it cannot beat Hot Fuzz. If Resident Evil was like this then that would be awesome.
The whole plot of the story is Shaun played by Simon Pegg and his best friend Ed played by Nick Frost. Shawn girlfriend Liz has dumped him. Now Shawn and Ed find zombies in there back garden at there home and now it's up to a group of people to save themselves and get away from the zombies.
The movie is worth checking out as Simon Pegg and Nick Frost together they offer a good amount of laughs in the movie.

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Hard Candy is a must see

Posted : 1 year, 9 months ago on 23 February 2008 02:13 (A review of Hard Candy)

Hard Candy was a great movie which leaves you saying was he the bad one or was she really bad. This movie also had it's great scenes even though most violent scenes appear off camera what you can see the pain in Jeff's face who is played by Patrick Wilson. The castration scene was a little bit sick but he give it a good job on that i have to say after cutting you know what yes his balls you see are doing horrible things with them. Ellen Page now she also had a good part in this movie she gets you to believe her most times. Sandra Oh only appears in the one scene i can't really say much about her.
This movie is worth watching i enjoyed it and stuff like this with meeting people off the Internet can really happen and thats one of the points the movie is trying to send out.

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Movies like this make England great

Posted : 1 year, 9 months ago on 21 February 2008 06:33 (A review of Hot Fuzz)

Hot Fuzz i thought was a good comedy Nick Frost i thought was the funniest with a lot of good jokes which actually made me laugh. Simon Pegg also did a great job better then other movies.
My favorite scene is in Somerfield Supermarket because it was just a fun scene to watch and entertaining.
The movie also featured David Threlfall who plays Frank in Channel 4's drama Shameless who plays a small part as Martin Blower. A lot of people you may recognize in the movie. Worth watching. The 2 disc DVD is a must buy.

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No laughs

Posted : 1 year, 9 months ago on 20 February 2008 06:35 (A review of Mystery Men)

This movie i could not wait to see but when i did watch it all i saw was a movie which was not funny and boring.

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Rocketman review

Posted : 1 year, 9 months ago on 20 February 2008 06:32 (A review of Rocketman)

I enjoyed this movie after watching it a whole back Harland Williams is a funny person who was the right person in the movie but theres no way this is the best or most of funniest of movies

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